Having been forced to return to my parents against my will, and being unable to move back out due to damaged credit (thanks to extended unemployment caused by discrimination), I am not in a situation where I can do things freely - like, taking estrogen pills which are essential for my physical and mental development.
My hormone pills were found back in August, and I haven't been able to take them regularly ever since; the best I could do was to take them only when I had some privacy. That meant erratic dosages and wild mood swings. In fact, I've been extremely fickle and upset for the past week.
I went to my nurse to discuss the situation, and he asked me to stop the hormones until I am able to take the pills daily. The swings are just too much, and destructive to my well-being.
So as of today, I am back to being a testosterone-based life form. My body will certainly not appreciate losing its feminization over the next several months, and my mind will not appreciate going back to male-pattern thoughts. And again, the worst thing is that I am not doing this out of my own choice; I am forced against my will. What did I do in my past life, to deserve being born into a family hailing from a primitive culture?
Perhaps the only silver lining out of this is that I will not lose my feminization completely, and that when I am ready again, I can definitely shoot back to my nurse and pick everything up more or less where I left off today.
Another plus is that my bankruptcy filing will be five years old later this year, which will make applying for apartments easier. Although a bankruptcy stays on my record for ten years, most apartments, to my knowledge, count only the last five years of credit. I should also have financial statements and bank statements documenting my income, and possibly an installment loan on a new car, strengthening my credit portfolio. (Speaking of the new car, once again, I will think long and hard before committing to another Catholic BMW, even though it does appear to be the best car available at my budget.)
