1) Where are you really from? "I really am from Texas, and I don't care where your Asian ex-girlfriend was really from, either."
2) Do you ... speak any other languages? "Nice try. Unless we're having a deep conversation about linguistics while the maitre d' decants our Malbec, stop asking me where I'm really from."
3) Ching chang chong? "I actually do speak a few languages, but I don't understand Bigot. I'd tell you what I usually say to this question, but you can't print it."
4) You know I love Asian women? "Yeah, Buttercup, I could tell you were sexually objectifying me due to my race from the parking lot. You know, your fortune cookie says I will never sleep with you?"
5) What are you? "I have no words to reply, only drinks to throw."You've been warned.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)